Saturday, June 30, 2012

Reading and Signing

Thursday, July 26th at 6:00 pm, I will be reading and signing books at opcit Books in Santa Fe, NM. Stop by if you get a chance. Or even if there's no chance in hell, stop by anyway.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

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You should see that, hopefully, the arrow points to the Donate button. I need a two-bit ho. Feel like kicking in for it?

A Splintered Mirage, Splintered Mirages, Splinters, Mirages--No, we won't call the whole thing off

I'm notorious for being flaky. Ask anyone. I'm punctual as all get out, but a complete and utter flake. In other words, if I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there on time, or even early, provided I remember I'm supposed to be somewhere.

Why am I opening this post with this statement? Honestly, I'm not sure. Sometimes I simply like to admit my flaws.

So, the anthology I've been editing is finished. Every story accepted, edited, placed in the order I feel works best for the collection.

Hooray, you say?

Not quite.

This has been an ongoing project for some time. Everyone involved has seen the cover, knows the title of the anthology, and that their payment was video footage of me dry-humping a lamp. So it's gearing up to go to press, should be out in roughly five or so weeks.

Hooray, you say?

Almost.  With all I've just said, it now comes to my attention as of yesterday that the cover is "fucking awful" according to one author, and it became a bit like the Emperor's New Clothes.  A few who had said what a great cover it was suddenly said, "Yeah, it's not that great."

Okay, fine, I can easily accept that. My only real question is, why wait until it's almost ready to go to the printer?  I could be a jack-off of an editor and say, "Whatever, folks, you got the footage of me humping a lamp. I can do what I want." But I don't aspire to be a jack-off editor (and with the exception of one other anthology I've already contracted to do, may never want to be an editor again; being a jack-off is for another post). I want the author's in the collection to be happy. To have a book they can hold up proudly and say, "That's right, I'm in this muthafucka." So, doing my best to be cool and not a douche, I've agreed to other cover options, even though time is limited.

Wow, Trent, that's cool of you.

It is, or is it?

No sooner have I agreed to this when I get an email telling me to change the title of the anthology. Really? Now? I mean, very good points were made, and again, I'm not against it. Like I said, I want everyone to be happy and proud to be in the book.

This is a long way of saying, If you had a problem with these things, why didn't you mention it, four, five, ten months ago, instead of waiting until it's officially been announced? I'm not slamming anyone here. I'm just curious why it took so long for anyone to say anything.

Maybe I'll change the title to Writers Write Awesome Stories in Exchange for Footage of Trent Dry-Humping a Lamp, and have a cover that fits accordingly.





Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Hey, manipulative publisher douchebags

If you aren't interested in my work based on its own merit, don't feed me spoonfuls of shit telling me you are, then mention how you'd love to reprint some of my father's work. It's low class as hell, I've been through it enough times. If you wanna reprint some of my father's work, contact the fucking agency that handles it. Don't try to use me. Your promises as well as your deals are shit, your marketing always sucks, based on my research, and I'm established enough that, frankly, I don't need your "help". If you are interested in my work because you like my work, cool. If you think faking interest in my work will get you somewhere with my father's stuff, the only thing it's going to do is put word out that you are a manipulative fuck (or fucks, depending). It makes me sick and would make my father sick. Sorry, but the next publisher, big, small, mid-list, who tries to pull this crap on me will get an article written about them, will be blogged and reported to the major writing organizations for poor business practice. Even some of you bigger guys who think you're immune, I hold more cards than you know. So don't fucking insult me.

And, really, if it's that important to you, treat me like a god first, make a big fucking deal about my work, buy it for real money, and publicize the shit out of it.  And even then, don't expect a fucking thing. You aren't doing me any favors. You're not helping me. You're using me. How would you feel if you really wanted to publish one of my books and I said, yeah, okay; oh, and by the way, you also should publish this book by my friend. It's his first book and he's never read a book in his life, but it'll be good for you and your company. You will have "discovered" him.

Fuck it, whatever. Just keep my father's work out of my work. We don't even write in the same genre, for fuck all's sake.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Facebook

So, I've deactivated my Facebook account. No, not forever. Only until crazy drama settles. Whether it comes to me or I attract it or whatever, just not worth it at the moment. You can follow me on Twitter, though.

@trentzelazny